Thursday, July 14, 2011

I really, really REALLY like lists...

Top 10 signs the horror movie you just rented is going to be stupid (in no particular order):

  1. It has a washed up actor/actress in it.  (Christian Slater should be a red flag!)
  2. It has an overly fancy cover, sometimes with metallic accents.
  3. It came out of Hollywood in the past 5 years.
  4. You’ve never heard of it.
  5. It has a pentagram on the cover.
  6. The title is in a digital font.
  7. There are no review quotes or “star ratings” on the cover.
  8. The blood is bright, bright red, and there is a buttload of it.
  9. There is a car chase, slow motion fist fight or machine gun firing frenzy in the first 5 minutes (or all three!), with accompanying techno music. 
  10. You rented it from the library because it was free.