Top 10 signs the horror movie you just rented is going to be stupid (in no particular order):
- It has a washed up actor/actress in it. (Christian Slater should be a red flag!)
- It has an overly fancy cover, sometimes with metallic accents.
- It came out of Hollywood in the past 5 years.
- You’ve never heard of it.
- It has a pentagram on the cover.
- The title is in a digital font.
- There are no review quotes or “star ratings” on the cover.
- The blood is bright, bright red, and there is a buttload of it.
- There is a car chase, slow motion fist fight or machine gun firing frenzy in the first 5 minutes (or all three!), with accompanying techno music.
- You rented it from the library because it was free.
