In place of the usual "Midweek Escapes" feature, we have a short story this week.
Blood and Orgasms – An Alexis Black Short Story
Blood and Orgasms – An Alexis Black Short Story
I needed blood and an orgasm. Not necessarily in that order. At least that’s what Nathan’s been telling me for weeks. I guess even best friends can’t stand a moody bitch.
Good thing I’m a girl who likes to multi-task.
I allowed Nathan to tart me up in a black dress so low-cut, one wrong move would expose my not-very-abundant assets. We headed to a local human hot spot, and walked past a line of scantily clad woman and wanna-be Rico Sauvé’s.
Once inside, he sat me down at the bar and pointed his finger in my face. “Alexis Black, you’re not getting off that stool until some unlucky sod agrees to take you home and shag you senseless.”
Sheesh. “It’s not going to take all night. We’ll be out of here before you know it.” I waved him off.
“Well, aim high, don’t hop on the first one that comes your way.” He rubbed my shoulders. “Relax. You’ll scare away all the good ones.” He gave me a peck on my cheek and wandered off in search of his own pulsing vein.
Ten minutes. Thirty minutes. Fifty minutes. Not one man approached me. I pulled a compact out of my purse and checked my reflection. No food in my teeth. No objects in my nose. No fangs.
My stomach rumbled at the smell of the blood pumping through the humans on the dance floor. So enticing I had to grab the bottom of my stool to keep from snatching someone for a quick bite. Next time I shouldn’t wait to long to feed, but I liked drinking blood as much as I liked sitting in this club.
A tap on my shoulder, and my night was looking up. I tuned around to meet my lucky admirer. The man behind me made my lips droop. Now I was really depressed.
Mr. Mustard Stained Tie and receding hairline pointed a ring-clad finger at my half empty glass. “Can I get you another?”
I was about to tell him no, but then I saw Nathan’s desperate nod from across the room. Damn. I’ve officially reached a new low. I pasted an overly enthusiastic smile on my face. “I’d love that.”
He pulled out a stool and almost toppled over trying to climb on. I grabbed his arm and helped him into his seat. This evening was turning into a disaster. I still needed blood, but I think the orgasm might be out of the question. I looked at my only option for the night, a dead ringer for Joe Pesci in the Goodfellas. The orgasm was definitely out of question.
For ten minutes I forced myself to listen to the overeager human try to impress me with his less than stellar achievements in life. Bored. Hungry. Uninterested. I’d had enough. “Want to go somewhere private?”
He opened his mouth to say yes, but before the word fled his lips Mr. tall-dark-and-oh-my-god walked up. He grabbed my hand, pulled me from my seat, and rescued me from what was sure to be a walk of shame. We passed by Nathan, whose cheeks were nice and rosy from his liquid dinner. He gave me a thumbs up.
I followed my last chance for the night like horny teenager to a two-story red brick walk up. After he opened the door, he gestured for me to go ahead of him. The room I entered was solid white. White walls, white floors, white couch, white leather armchair. And that was all.
The door slammed. The lock clicked. I turned and my mouth fell open. Mr. tall-dark-and-oh-my-god was now sporting a pair of solid black wings and a mischievous smile.
Things were not going as planned. "Who are you? What are you?"
He gestured to the couch. “Sit. Please. Alexis.”
The words weren’t a request, and I don’t like to be told what to do. “Not gonna happen.”
“Fine.” He walked over to the chair, pulled his wings in tight and took a seat. “You may remain standing.”
I walked over to the couch and sat down.
He let out a small laugh like I amused him. “What a predictable creature you are.”
“Since eating you and fucking you seem to be out of the question, what do you want?”
He adjusted the crease of his tailored black pants and the cuffs of his starched dress shirt. “I have a offer for you. An offer that will change your undead life.”
Evil's Unlikely Assassin
An Alexis Black Novel
Release: June 6, 2017
Genre : Urban Fantasy
Publisher: Muse It Up Publishing
Number of pages: 290
Word Count: 80K
Cover Artist: Erica Petlit Designs
Tagline: Sometimes it takes evil to kill evil
Vampire Alexis Black is on a mission - to rejoin the human race.
Coerced into signing an ironclad contract by an Angel-with-attitude, Alexis must hunt down and assassinate at least one vampire, werewolf, or creepy crawly every night for fifty years to become human again. Too bad the contract didn’t mention the badass vampire who now rides shotgun in her brain, insatiable bloodlust, or her new I-hate-everything-with-fangs sidekick. If she can fulfill her end of the bargain, her humanity is restored, if not she will be destroyed.
But when a revenge-seeking bloodsucker threatens her city, Alexis must risk everything to ensure there’s a humanity to return to. Since her vampire nature is her greatest weapon to defeat the monsters that threaten her friends and future, Alexis must choose to accept her inner beast or watch those she loves die.
"Evil's Unlikely Assassin is a promising urban fantasy debut that features all that's great about the genre--action, attitude, and ass-kicking." -Jaye Wells, USA Today bestselling author of The Sabina Kane and Prospero's War series
Tonight’s job had me sitting in a shadowy corner of a dead-end dive watching the unfortunate, the hopeless, and the degenerate. Had I known this is how I’d be spending my one hundred and seventy-third birthday, I would have called in sick.
An aging cocktail waitress hustled to over-serve society’s misfits. An ex-con, a dealer, and an addict pissed their lives away at the far end of the bar. A trio of prostitutes circled the room, their knock-off stiletto’s clicking on the wooden floor. And a single cockroach scurried for cover before being squashed.
How would the humans feel about me, the vampire, hiding in their shadows?
One of the battered bar stools toppled, throwing its occupant to the filthy concrete. The man, in a faded red and black flannel shirt, picked himself up off the floor. Dingy jeans slid down his hips, revealing a pair of boxers far past the expiration date for a wash. He bumped and weaved his way through the crowd, ignoring the spilled drinks and curses he left in his wake, and cut a crooked but determined path right to my table.
He collapsed into the booth next to me, blocking my only chance at escape. “How’s ’bout a drink?”
I wrinkled my nose at what had to be three days’ worth of sweat and grime, raised my bottle and sloshed the liquid from side to side. “Still nursing this one.” I focused on a faded picture of the Blues Brothers nailed to the wall and hoped he’d take the hint. A sharp tap on my shoulder told me this guy was either clueless or didn’t give a shit. My money was on clueless.
“What’s your name, sexy?”
Oh how I wanted to ignore his question, but the last thing I needed was Mr. Drunk and Stupid to cause a scene and blow my cover. “Alexis.”
His grease-coated fingers played “Get the Buggy” up my arm. I slapped them away before they got past my elbow. “How’s ’bout we get to know each other better?” He gave me a lopsided wink and ogled my breasts.
When he looked at me, he saw what every other human did, a twenty-three year old, petite brunette with large, light blue eyes. But if he leaned in close, he would see what lurked below the exterior, something sinister and scary, with sharp fangs and a deadly personality.
About the Author:
Jenn Windrow loves characters that have a pinch of spunk, a dash of attitude, and a large dollop of sex appeal. Top it all off with a huge heaping helping of snark, and you've got the ingredients for the kind of fast paced stories she loves to read and write. Home is a suburb of it's-so-hot-my-shoes-have-melted-to-the-pavement Phoenix. Where she lives with her husband, two daughters, and a slew of animals that seem to keep following her home, at least that's what she claims.
Jenn's Urban Fantasy, EVIL’S UNLIKELY ASSASSIN won the RWA Fantasy, Futuristic and Paranormal (FF&P), “On The Far Side” writing contest in July 2014, top 5 in the RWA Desert Rose, “Realizing the Dream” writing contest, and finaled in the Houston Writers Guild annual writing contest in April 2014. It was also selected as first runner up in Writers Type’s First Chapter Contest in April 2013.
Her Paranormal Romance, STRUCK BY EROS placed first in the RWA’s Golden Pen Contest, third in the Ruby Slippered Sisterhoods Make it Golden contest, and fourth in the West Coast Romance Writers Beacon contest.